The cold hard truth.

front room
Looks warm, doesn’t it?

It’s day 4, and it’s 4am. The fabric of space and time appear to be different here. In the city, this is the time I would be going to sleep. Here, it is apparently the time I wake up. I’ve had 6 solid hours. The van is pretty flipping cold. I decide to get up and do some damage control. I temporarily light a couple of the gas hobs just to cut through the chill, turn one of the radiators up, and put on the blow heater. Hoping to god that the surge of electric doesn’t knock out the power yet again. I wait in anticipation with my torch, will I have to wonder to the fuse box outside? No, thank god, it stays on.

The heating sitch still isn’t optimum. I have 3 oil-filled radiators of varying size and power, and a blow heater. I could do with 2 more small ones. Ventilation in caravans is excessive, presumably to prevent damp when they’re not being used in the winter months, so I’ve covered roughly a third of them. I’ve hung some heavy door curtains, and I keep rooms closed that are not in use. It’s not ideal, but it’s manageable. My electric is set at £40 per month ( dropping to £20 in the summer) so I don’t have to worry about running a huge electric bill. The Gas for the oven and hot water is by canister; £55 for a large bottle that I’m guessing is going to last me a couple of months if I’m careful. And that’s what you have to be, careful. You have to be present. Suddenly in such a small space and with so many restrictions you become deftly aware of temperature, how much gas you’re using, how much food you’re using (you can’t just nip to the corner shop to stock up, it would be a 90min walk), you have to be organised and tidy (two things I’m not known for), and if you’re cold you don’t just whack the thermostat up – you put on more layers, and possibly a beanie.


Ice on the INSIDE of the door!

I flick on my phone torch and move the door curtain to find it stuck to the door, with ice. The curtain has obviously been doing it’s job! Outside is pitch black, the ground covered in frost which lights up like glitter by the light of my torch. I flip the switch, we’re back in business. But having to open the door means we’ve lost valuable heat. And I’m not going to risk putting the blow heater back on. The hobs are lit once more. Today I will invest in yet more heating.

So why am I telling you this? I have a tendency to focus on the good in things, and to romanticise the crap out of it too. I often ignore the practicalities and downsides of a situation. I can instagram a thousand sunsets and have you see this new life through filtered lenses, or I can give you the bits that aren’t so pretty.

The sunsets are very pretty though 😛

This new life takes compromise, I knew it would, and it’s not for everyone. But for me, it’s worth it. Without the mod-cons you start to re-appreciate all the small things that much more. A hot breakfast tastes all the more satisfying after a freezing morning walk. After all, if we get everything we need and want are we every really happy? There’s always something else to aim for, and that my friends, is capitalism. And capitalism makes you think you are progressing, that you are winning when you buy a new car, or a new house, so why is depression so prevalent in modern society? I’m not saying I have the answer, or the cure, all I know is that to be in nature, to be free, ice covered doors and all, is the only antidote I need.



The hot water pipe has frozen, and I’ve been informed it’s -5 outside. It’s definitely an indoor day.

5 thoughts on “The cold hard truth.

  1. My dad lived in a static for a time, he also moved in mid winter. I’m not sure what your set up is in terms of agreement with the site but square hay bails under to insulate from the ground worked a wonder ! Lots of admiration for your venture.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the tip Becky! I’ll have a word with the landlords…


  2. I love how you indicate that having to watch every unit of gas used and think in the present about each daily ritual, makes you mindful and appreciative. That’s how it is when we travel in the van. And I lived poor but in a lovely place as a single parent with my children and they have the same appreciation. Hang on in there, it’ll be worth it and you’ll discover deep reserves of inner strength.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You see NOW I’m worried….!


Leave a Reply to Gemma Baker Poetry Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create your website at
Get started
%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close