It’s 3:30am on the day of the move, and I have had 3hrs sleep. I am excited, nervous, sad, and full of joy.
The past two days have been spent packing my life up into boxes, bags, and bins. I have always declared myself an un-materialistic person, someone that doesn’t hoard, or become attached to ‘things’, but these last couple of days have proved me wrong. I may not be materialistic in the traditional sense, accumulating items of monetary value, but try to prize a box of old buttons from me and you’ll have a fight on your hands! I am a magpie, I collect the weird, the old, the forgotten. I have been shopping in charity shops for as long as I can remember, rummaging through the dis-used and unloved. I love the smell of old books, the feel of a vintage jacket sewn by hand, and yes, boxes of random buttons. Every item has a story, a character, and that brings me joy.
However, aware that I am moving from a small 2 bed house, to an even smaller 3 bed caravan, I have been determined to be ruthless. My two biggest weaknesses are clothing and books, they make up about 80% of all items I own. So I set to work, whittling both collections down. With the books I didn’t want I gave them away at a small leaving party at my house. Fortunately, I know a lot of fellow poets and writers so the piles got promptly pillaged, the remainder being sent to the Charity shop, along with the clothes.
In my effort to cleanse my life, I left no stone, or cupboard un-turned (this was only made possible by my long-suffering, and forever patient best friend standing with me, making sure I stuck at it). In total I let go of about 20 bags of ‘stuff’, including lots of old writing, and keepsakes. And I know that what I’m left with is organised and only the things I really want or need. I feel lighter.
The mental clear-out that accompanies the downsize is just as valuable. I am letting go of thoughts and experiences which I have clung to, I am savouring all the joy, the moments, and the people who have made the last 4yrs incredible. Equally, there are people whom I’ve had to let go of too.
I am taking with me only love.
The slate is fresh.
On to the next chapter.
“Change is always possible. What limits us is fear.”